If you’ve ever seen the film ‘Meet Joe Black’ then you will know what i’m talking about. If not, i will attemp to explain…There is a scene in the film when they spot eachother across a crowded room, a cliche i know but they simply only have eyes for eachother. The world around them stops, it’s just them, completely intent upon the other person and nothing else matters.
Well, that’s how i always wanted my love to be. Pure, all encompassing and so strong that you feel that tug, like an invisible chord from your stomach, pulling you to them.
My first love was one of two young people who have grown up together. We knew eachother so well and although not totally suited, we had spent probably the most important of our teenage years together, and that in itself is a tough bond. Sadly the years of growing together made it almost a brotherly/sisterly love and more of a comfortable pairing.
The second of my loves…well, i was completely in awe of him. Smart, intelligent and with clear life goals he inspired me in a way that i didn’t think was possible. I learnt what it was like to really love and to be utterly bewildered by someone’s passion….butterfiles and heartache sadly seemed to come hand in hand. While he was safely up on my pedestall resolutely unshaken, unfortunately my need for security and long term plans bought me down from his.
The third…well i’m not ever sure you can call it love when it is so one sided. In fact, it wasn’t. So intent on trying to fix the problems from his past and make things work, i should have taken a step back and seen that all it was doing was draining my energy. I was so sure that it could work despite everything that i tried and tried and ignored that fact that he utterly wasn’t someone suited to me. Forced and one sided…never works.
Now the recent, the current, the here and now. Mostly my opposite, calm, relaxed, laid back and doesn’t worry about a thing. He keeps me on the straight and narrow. Calms me down when i’m stressed and makes me smile when i’m down. The soothing ointment to my searing impatience and temper, i don’t know how he copes with me.
Perhaps the most balanced relationship of all of them, we both care for eachother and there is no struggle of one sided love. They say opposites attract after all, the other half to make a whole.
None of my loves have been the kind in the film, the kind i dreamed of. One came close but it’s no good if it’s only one of you staring across the crowds looking for the other. They have all been different and i’ve learnt so much from each one. My questions is: Should we seek out that movie love and not be content until we have found it, or are the other kinds of love as good, if not better?