The thing about my depression is that one minute i can be fine, laughing and joking…. the next i have switched. It doesn’t take much in all honesty and it’s not merely an ‘oh drat’ feeling, it is full on want to cry and go home and curl up in bed and it can happen for the silliest of reasons.
It happens a lot less frequently now that i’m feeling a bit better and now there will be a reason for it (albeit a silly one) rather than leaking from my tearducts for no reason just sitting at my desk.
I’ve spoken to the doctor and he’s said it’s to be expected, i was a lot worse at the start that either of us had thought, it seems.
The annoying thing is, i don’t always know what will set it off, it could be anything from a shoe not fitting in the shop to the boyfriend saying something flippant and i just can’t control it. Yes, i know i’m being silly and yes, i know there’s nothing to get upset about, but i do. I sit here feeling like i’m surrounded in a black cloud and there is just no way i can fight myself out of it. The tears well up and stick in my throat. Thank goodness i’ve got better at controlling them though.
I just hope it stops soon. God knows it’s annoying me, and chances are, if it’s annoying me then it’s annoying him. Poor Love.