Side Effects

I have new very strong new migrane tablets from the doctors (hooray!) and also some anti-sickness tablets to stop me wanting to vomit on the train…but who knew that it could all be so complicated…

Just incase a chimp is reading the instructions for said anti-vom tablets, it helpfully states:

“blah blah…This helps your digestive system to work properly. It can also stop you from feeling sick (nausea) and from being sick (vomiting).”

Now, sorry, but if someone needs that kind of explaination then i don’t think they should be in charge of administering themselves with tablets. Should they?

Then, as we move on to the side effects, things get a bit more sinister (bear in mind that i’m taking these as coming of my anti-depressants is making me a bit woozy):

  • Dizziness or fainting

  • feeling restless and distressed, or feeling anxious or confused

  • swelling of the tongue

  • skin rashes

  • drowsiness or exhaustion

  • constipation

    Now it gets freaky:

  • odd movements of the face or other parts of the body

  • production of breast mi lk

  • breast enlargement (if you are a man)

So, now only will i feel more distressed, anxious, tired and faint…. but i will also look like a lepur becasue of my skin rash, be winking and jiving about all over the place with no control whatsoever and oh yes…..lactating.

I think i’d rather feel sick….

14 thoughts on “Side Effects

  1. concertmaster says:

    Well now that just about covers their backsides from just about every bit of litigation possible…
    …and yes, I guess all of sudden feeling sick doesn’t seem so bad in the grand scheme of things! (Says the man who is the worst patient in the world!)

    Like

  2. Daxy says:

    One can imagine when those tablets were being tested….
    Yells coming from the toilets as somebody tried a doomed bowel movement, people with massive tongues hanging to their knees, peoples’ faces convulsing horribly, women spraying milk all over the lab, men growing sizeable pairs of knockers, people consumed by skin disease and other rashes… and somebody says
    “Oooh, my migraine’s feeling better!”

    Like

  3. hoverfrog says:

    Hang on. Swelling of the tongue isn’t freaky? Maybe not on Planet Jellybaby but in my pond its pretty weird. Now a tablet to make your tongue longer I could make money out of.

    Also I want to start an organisation that promotes the abolition of all safety labels and safety notices. It has beccome far too easy to protect the stupid people on this planet and evolution really could do with some help. My organisation will ban ridiculous comments like “blah blah…This helps your digestive system to work properly. It can also stop you from feeling sick (nausea) and from being sick (vomiting).” on anti chunder tablets and “CAUTION HOT” on cups of coffee. We’ll just leave natural selection to sort out the surplus population.

    Like

  4. Just dont be trying to spike my morning milk wih your tablets so that I grow man breasts.

    Like

  5. CM i will of course still be taking them!!

    Dax that sounds like a GREAT lab to be working in! Oh the fun of laughing at the test people…. but if it’s rabbits then it all becomes a bit more wrong

    Froggy well i do sometimes get a swollen tongue, so it’s not so bad as starting to twitch randomly!!!

    Boy oh you so shouldn’t have said that 😉

    Like

  6. sppadic says:

    damn..talk about side effects…sheesh..man breasts..thats a hell no! hey hope the tablets have eased your pain now…but you could be right..probably better off without them ..in trying to get rid of symptoms..seems like the side-effects are gonna kick in! well have a good weekend anyways..and hope you feel better soon..

    Like

  7. hoverfrog says:

    Now I want to know why you sometimes get swelling of the tongue. I’m sure that it’s not rude but can’t imagine any non-rude ways of making this happen. Unless you have a food allergy of some kind. That’s just dull though. Make something rude up if it’s dull like that.

    Like

  8. Sppad man boos is kind of a bad one, huh!?

    Froggy well i erm tend to use it a bit too much and it you know, gets a bit swollen…..erm, yeah

    Like

  9. v - to the a - l says:

    i want to meet you now NOW! all jiving and winky!!!!!!!

    xx

    Like

  10. Rebecca says:

    Well you may look totally awful but at least you won’t feel sick. 🙂

    Like

  11. artmeliana says:

    You poor mite, hope you can strike a meds balance here soon!

    Why do they only enlarge men’s breasts? Do they think all women have enough?

    Like

  12. James says:

    Could be worse. Lactating man boobs!

    Like

  13. sammy says:

    v – to the a – to the l NOW?! right NOW?! all jittery? oooooo

    Rebecca that is the up side i guess!

    Arty and James i guess they think that for women, breast enlargement wouldn’t be an unwanted side effect…. it would be a wanted one, so they can’t list it?

    Like

  14. sungirltan says:

    pee ed myself laughing at this x

    Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: