Now, I know i’m tired and showing off…but I’m pretty sure that there’s more and more out there these days. Twats that is…or twits, or prats, or whatever you want to call them.
I think there’s plenty of different ones, and I’ve had the displeasure of coming into contact with a fair few over the past few days, and as ever, thought I would turn my raging observations into a blog post for you all. And I can guarantee that while reading this post, you will nod along in agreement at some point!
So, here is my list:
Oyster Card Twat – “Oh erm it has no money on it? Oh, can I just get on the bus anyway?” No you sodding well can’t! Pay like everyone else.
Fumbling Twat – yes yes, you stand in line for five minutes but not think about getting out your ticket/money/card until the last minute and just hold everyone else up.
Isle Seat Twat – why don’t you just move over?! Instead you make people squeeze past you to sit on the other seat!
Coffee Snob Twat – “I’ll have a extra tall, half caf, double shot, extra hot, wet skinny late with soy milk hold the cream” gah.
Charity Collector Twat – yes i do have time, no i don’t want to give you money, I work for a charity myself and earn a good few grand less than I would somewhere else. I also already give to 2 charities monthly as well as donating bigger sums now and then and having raised about £1,000 for Cancer Research and £500 for a local hospice, I feel I do my bit. So DO NOT make me feel guilty for walking away from you.
Taxi Twat – yep, you just randomly stop anywhere you like and cause a pile up behind you becasue someone with too much money who’s too lazy to walk and too posh to get a bus needs a ride.
Pedestrian Twat – that’s right, just walk right out in front of the bus becasue you’re so desparate to get to work. You’d probably be doing us a favour anyway.
Overpowering Perfume Twat – you think washing in expensive perfume makes you seem decadent. No. Or you think we want to smell your Eau de Cheap Immitation? No. Either way, it just burns off the inside of our nose.
Dithering Twat – this could be any time, any where….but the best example is people who get to the top of the escalator and suddenly seem unsure how to put one foot infront of the other in order to get off.
Blackberry/Mobile Phone Twat – twiddling with your Raspberry and having loud work conversations into your mobile doesn’t make you sound or look important. It makes you look like a twat, see?
Train Driver Twat – Firstly, you don’t turn the heating on. If i wanted to sit in a freezer for 40 minutes, i’d do it at home. Secondly, you advertise one destination on the front of the train, another destination inside the train and don’t make any announcements about WHERE in the hell you are going! This makes some people get off the train and be stranded somewhere less than desirable and then find out that it WAS THE RIGHT TRAIN.
These are just the twats that I see on my journey to and from work. Believe me, there are a lot more like: Mobile Phone Music Twat, Trolley Twat, Trying to be Cool Teenage Twat, Drunk Twat, Druggy Twat, Pervy Twat, Look at Me Twat. The list could go on and on, but then you might get the impression that other people annoy me or something…..