Short and Sweet

…becasue I know I want to write something but just now i’m not sure what to say.

My moods are becoming increasingly erratic and i’m finding it hard to deal with them and pick myself out of the blues. I have cried every day for the past few weeks. I don’t know what it means but i know it’s not good.

(and really, yes i know “but you live in Spain, cheer up etc etc blah blah” whatever)

14 thoughts on “Short and Sweet

  1. punctuation says:

    Having these sorts of moods are, sadly, not something that can be easily controlled. 😦 It doesn’t help with people saying “but you’re so lucky you have X you can do Y” – being depressed just gets you like that.

    Several of my poems are inspired by depression, a black cloud on an otherwise irrepressibly sunny personality.

    I hope things pick up for you.



  2. 'Ayes says:

    Sometimes we just need to cry……….

    Its as simple as they, we build things up inside often subconsiously and we need to release the stress.

    Your probably home sick, missing friends, family and the comfort of your own home, the familiarity of your old surroudings, the closeness of your family.

    If this is the case, its to be expected, you have made a big, brave decision, now you need time to adjust, to get use to your new life, to feel at home in Spain.

    They say when people win the lottery, they grieve, becuase the life they knew, the life they understood is no more. Your probably subconsiously grieving for Hayes, being able to pop around to mum for a cuppa, even the train journey with all the weirdo’s you used to blog about.

    You’ve got so much, these feelings will pass, the tears will stop. Bee Positive, have things to look forward too…….. dreams and wishes…….. lists in your mind…….its a nice place to escape to

    Remember your glass is half full, you have achieved a new home, in a different country with a man who is obviously so good for you. Enjoy your life.

    Spain is really big, looked up Nerja on a map with a view to poppping round (visiting Murcia) next week, didnt look to far on the map, maybe Bournemouth to Southampton apart, got the journey details and it was like going from London to Scotland.

    I aint got your new address

    Heres a really big hug ‘O’


  3. 😦 Poor you. I guess you just have to ride it out. That’s what I have to do in similar situations.


  4. Poor you .. this is going to happen I’m afraid in a strange country, especially with your history of depression and the recent disasters with your feet and jobs etc cannot be helping! Try and keep your chin up … (which I know is easier said than done) *hugs*


  5. Perpetual says:

    Moving countries is unsettling, so it has likely exacerbated rather than helped in the short term.

    Hopefully you’ll see a more positive change soon, think of all the great things you have other there like the weather, the pool and the boy.


  6. Ian that’s exactly it, I know i should be happy and I know i have nothing to be down about, but that doesn’t help me ‘snap out of it’ so to speak, it’s just not that easy….plus I have a fairly negative nature anyway and don’t find it easy to look on the bright side!

    Ayes i have a good old cry, I just feel mostly sorry for The Boy. It’s getting to the stage where it’s annoying him now and mustering up any sympathy for me is hard because I can’t really explain how or why I feel like this.

    Yes, Spain is very big! And we’re right down on the bottom! I’ll send you my new address though

    Hooli I’m hoping it just passes…. fingers crossed it does anyway!

    Cat It makes me feel more silly becasue i have precisely nothing at all to be down about, but the little things get to me so much!

    Perp That’s what I hope… I hope as tie goes on I realise that i’m just happy and more positive!


  7. Fabulous says:

    No not at all that your in Spain blah blah. Right i am just going to bite the bullet and ask the question – Are you regreting moving?. Maybe you might have to face it?.
    Sometimes such a big move just isnt right, not coz you hate it, or that you miss your family or that its nice and hot all the time. Sometimes its just not the right move. If this is the case thats ok.
    Other than that, its going to be ok. Whatever the reason that is making you unhappy i know that it can be fixed. How is the boy coping?.


  8. punctuation says:

    Fabby – sometimes, IMHO, there’s not a reason (in fact there frequently are many reasons not to be depressed and that makes it worse). Just guessing, but I bet I’m right…



  9. *huge hugs? The Boy loves you .. remember that .. it’s as difficult for him as it is for you .. hence the feeling of “detachment” .. TALK TO HIM! We are all here for (both of) you .. however far away .. it’s a big step you’ve taken .. try and enjoy?


  10. Fabby i’m not regretting it, no. I miss things from home, I miss knowing people and I miss my friends and I miss stupid things, but I do like it here.
    I was never sure why I was depressed in the first place, it was a whole tangle of things that in a year of councelling I had only just started to untangle… it’s no one thing but it’s mostly (or was mostly) to do with how I feel about myself. I don’t know if it still is or if it’s something else now…

    Ian No one reason. Lots of stupid reasons..

    Cat I have no doubt that he does. It doesn’t help that I can explain why I feel like i do, and that The Boy is the complete opposite of me and is never sad or down and is always optimistic, so he doesn’t see how I feel like this, and now he just sighs and looks the other way when I feel sad…. which makes me feel more sad.


  11. Huwie says:

    Hang in there. Not much to add to the words of wisdom above, really. But yes, I guess it’s just adjusting to a very new situation – new house, new country, new job, new climate, new culture, etc etc. That’s a lot of adjusting to do!

    And it sounds like you’re doing a great job of adjusting actually. But I guess this might be your body’s way of releasing some tension…?


  12. Fabulous says:

    Yeah i get what your saying. Im glad that you are pleased that you moved. Maybe when you feel a bit more settled you will feel happier about yourself. You know that we all think your fabulous. x


  13. I feel particulary happy at the moment – but there is absolutely no reason for it. I guess it’s just like that. As everyone has said just because your life is good doesn’t ncesssarily mean you feel good.

    Maybe it’s just the high of the actual move is slowly surpassing – you’ve said a couple of times that you ‘feel’ like you’re on holiday. Maybe you just need more time to get used to being ‘home’.

    I’ve been in my new house for a year and a half now, it’s only JUST beginning to feel like home. But you have the ‘boy’ and the ‘pool’ to soften the blow a bit 😉


  14. TT I think i need to be more patient and give it more time…. but i’m not patient at all! Never mind!


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