I realise I owe you a post, some gossip, and an explanation on this subject. The reason it has taken me so long is that it’s confusing and complicated.
We went to school together. I didn’t get to know him well until we were older and had left school really. We kissed a few times, a lot of years ago when I was drinking a lot to try and not be so depressed (which as you know, didn’t work!)…which clearly was brushed under the carpet and not spoken about.
Just before I left for Spain, he left to go travelling in Australia. He met someone while he was there, and didn’t come back..not until about a month after I returned from Spain myself. We suddenly found ourselves in the same situation.
We had both been away for almost two years. We both came back not because we wanted to, but because we split up with the person we were with. It was even worse for him…when he had left, the majority of our bloke mates were still single. He was used to being out and about with them all the time. Single lads go wild and all that. Suddenly, he returned to find them all shacked up and pretty serious with their ladies.
For my part, I am so utterly grateful to have him around. My lovely lady friends are all taken and all very busy. We all see each other as much as we can, but most weekends, they (quite rightly) have their own plans. So I found myself making plans with SMF….and whatever others of the guys were out.
After a few very good weekends of this, we came to Valentines Day. We got drunk. We kissed. It was fine, nothing was awkward afterwards, we just carried on as normal. It was Valentines Day, what else were two single drunks supposed to do?!
A couple of weeks on and we found ourselves in the situation where none of our other friends were out. After a few whingey texts backwards and forwards lamenting our bored and single status, we decided that we would go out….just the two of us. We had a great night, nothing odd or couply or awkward about it…and did the same thing again the weekend after.
Our friends tease us mercilessly….well more the lads tease him….as you can imagine. They all play football together and all he gets is a whole load of “…so you and [Pinky] went out last night, did you blag her?….have you banged her yet?” etc etc. Yes, they have yet to grow up. All credit to him, he seems to (so far) be able to shrug it off and get on with things….
After Easter weekend and all it’s shenanigans, he got a text from me:
I think you might be the only decent man I know.x
..and it’s very true…ask any my girl friends what they think of him and you’ll get “…awwww… I love SMF, he’s so lovely…” which compared to most of the men I have come in contact with recently, is a novelty.
The past few weekends however have been a little different. Which is where there is confusion. I’m thinking that I am completely doing the girly thing and reading too much into it all but to be quite honest, I’m so shit and this stuff, I don’t trust my own judgement.
As chatty and friendly as he is, as much as we tease each other in a mildly flirty way…he’s not very tactile…I just don’t think he’s like that… but last weekend he was. Very much. To give the full story, he was very drunk…and I don’t know if that means he didn’t mean to be like that or if he wants to be like that more but isn’t brave enough.
Anyhow, I got an arm round me when we talked. I got a hand on my neck when he came up behind me. I got arms round my waist when we ended up on the dance floor and it was hard to be heard over the music.
This weekend, when we left to get a cab, he was holding my hand (mostly to drag me across the road because I was being slow) and then suddenly we weren’t walking across the road and we were kissing.
In the cab, he had not let go of my hand and moved across the seats to sit next to me and put his arm around me. As the cab dropped him off, there was more kissing and big stupid grins (more than once in a night has not happened before)…After a text to make sure I had got the rest of the way home ok:
Me: Sorry for jumping you x
SMF: I think it was me who did the jumping, and for the record, I’m not sorry x
Which is how it stands now…..do I like him, like that? Does he like me like that? I genuinely have no idea at all. He’s not the most forward of guys, being a little shy and un-confident…and after other fiascos, there is no way I would ever admit that maybe I like him…so perhaps it’s doomed from [not even] the start?