Hairline Fracture

I am his friend. That’s the way he sees it.

I am desperate for him to be my friend. For so long, he was my best friend. I would say he still is. If something is wrong,  he is the person I want….that’s a best friend, right?

Mostly, I am ok with that. I would rather him as a friend that nothing at all. I want him in my life. He gets me, he knows me, he makes me laugh.

I have been doing ok with that, with the friends thing but the recent

…why wouldn’t he want to go on a date with you, you’re awesome and gorgeous…”

and all the little comments, the inside jokes, the texts of an evening for a chat…it hurts my heart. It makes me ache. It makes me cry. I miss him.

I have a date tomorrow night. Nothing serious but I have to try and get out there even if it’s just to prove to myself that I can…but I don’t want to.

I just want to curl up with someone on the sofa. Share a laugh. Share a giggle. Share a life.

8 thoughts on “Hairline Fracture

  1. LizSara says:

    Ugh honey, that’s added complication you don’t need. I know he’s trying to boost your self esteem but really, does he not understand what things like that can do to a girl?

    Date is good though, many kisses and leave him wanting more!

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  2. Jo says:

    I think I commented on another post you did that it seemed a bit soon to be playing the friend game. Each to their own and all, but I know that whenever I thought I was over my ex, all it took was a friendly e-mail containing a link to something that made me laugh to put me back a few squares. Sometimes you have to meet someone and move on completely before you can be actual,real, doesn’t-hurt-any-more friends with an ex.

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  3. Pearl says:

    Ouch, honey.

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  4. shelby says:

    I’m sorry 😥 Stuff like this just rips you apart but going on dates (even though it may not lead to ‘the one’) will lead to you being able to move on and be free from the agony of being the friend.

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  5. Date Girl says:

    Oh I’m so sorry. That does hurt so much-being the friend when you want more. Like Shelby said, you’re going out there and meeting people and getting one step closer to finding that right man to share your life with.

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  6. missyummyface says:

    Liz I don’t think he does, no…he’s just being lovely..a friend.

    Jo we’ve been chatting, about my date, about the girl he likes….it’s ok until I really think about it.

    Pearl yu-hu

    Shelby I’m trying…and I’m getting there!

    Date Girl Yes. Getting out there….not sure any closer to meeting the right man but having quite a bit of fun!

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  7. Felisa says:

    I have nothing smart or comforting to say. Just ouch…
    Oh, and you ARE awesome and gorgeous. And you’ll be alright, hun. I’m sure you will be. 🙂

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  8. […] The Scouser. We’ve spent time together. Probably the most fun I’ve had all year, with anyone. Drunk conversations of "you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met", "you’re like my other half" and drunk messages of "why exactly aren’t we together"…but that’s all kind of hanging in mid air. I don’t think I can go back but I do think we can go somewhere new. Where that is, is yet to be seen. […]

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