Oh my, I really need to start writing again. I love it, I like getting it all out there. Why should i worry if it’s a little repetitive for you guys? How can you ever get bored of my tales of woe or my stories about what man I have scared away recently? You can’t, right so…. update one.
I have things to report, I must say. I’m not sure why I’ve not written about it yet but I think perhaps I was just trying to see where things went and how it all got on but I think I have enough material here to give you all a run down.
(Did I make that sound like I have a man? Sorry, I don’t!)
It’s been three months since my last confession. No, not really. It’s been three months since I went to see a hypnotherapist…. on account of my ‘confidence’. I was sceptical and not really even that sure that I’d done it right or that anything had even gone on but you know what, it only bloody did.
At first I didn’t notice myself but close friends and my parents commented on a change in me, mostly that I seemed happier and much chattier. Then as time went on, I started to notice it myself, just in little ways – standing in a bar with my friends, guys come over to chat and usually I back off and let everyone else do the talking. Well not any more, I get right in there – I don’t even really think about it as an issue, I’ll suddenly catch myself in the middle of a conversation without having had the whole internal ‘but WHAT are you going to say?’ battle.
Then quite a major shift two weeks ago. We went on a night out where I knew two people well (they went home early) and the Birthday girl. Now usually, my friends sulking off home would have had me follow them, but not this time. Oh no. I stayed out for the rest of the night with a bunch of people I didn’t really know…and I wasn’t even so drunk that I didn’t care…and it was fine. I might have even kissed one of them.
This might not sound like all that much, but for me, it’s a massive change. I’m getting to the point where getting out there and making new friends doesn’t seem so scary. I even went on a date with a man from on the internet (not done that in years!). With my best friends being not so great at the moment, this is all very welcome news.
It’s slow progress, but it’s very noticable. Do you even recognise me?