Passing Indifference

Life is funny. If you had asked me when I was say 16, what I would be doing at this time in my life (28!), I would have said “I’ll be happily married with a baby, a nice house and a nice car. I’ll be successful in my job and really love what I do.” I honestly thought that all those things would just come to me, becasue that’s what you do as you get older.

If I spend too long thinking about it, I would induce a mild state of panic upon myself. Realistically, I know I’m not really all that old and I have plenty of time for all of those things….. when I’m not being realistic, I worry. This job is not what I want to do, I don’t have a car, I’m not married and don’t even have a boyfriend let alone the possiblity of finding someone batty enough to want to give me lovely little babies.

I have said it before and I will say it again, finding someone seems more and more impossible as every day passes. Perhaps I am looking in the wrong place or at the wrong people. Perhaps I am expecting too much, not wanting to settle like some people do. Perhaps it will all just fall into my lap and magically happen one day. Or perhaps it will be how I fear, and I won’t be able to find someone who I love for all the world and who feels the same.

I worry that the longer it goes on, the more closed off I am even to the idea of meeting someone. I get more sure that it’s just not going to happen, that I will never meet anyone lovely and decent and so don’t even want to take a chance.
It will take someone coming along and totally sweeping me off my feet for me to even consider letting myself feel that way about someone, and let’s be honest, things like that usually only happen in the movies.

I’d always say i’m a hopeful person, but it’s dwindling fast. I’m beginning to consider getting my third cat, or maybe a tiny little dog that can use the cat flap.

10 thoughts on “Passing Indifference

  1. Georgia says:

    I don’t really know what advice I can give. You can never predict what happens. If it was me, I’d date a lot, keep things relaxed and fun and maybe one guy will be that guy. I don’t believe in fate. My relationship isn’t perfect. We’re not ‘perfect’ for each other. He’s not the only person for me in the sense that I couldn’t have built a life in a different way if I hadn’t met him. I don’t believe in the perfect match. People are thrown together for whatever reason and often work really hard to make it work. My hubby and I have grown together and fallen in love over the years and in the end it works.

    There’s nothing wrong with being single at your age but it sounds like you want someone. Think how rare it is that you meet a friend who you get on with perfectly and continue to get on with for years and years. People expect that too much from a relationship. You do need to expect to fall for an imperfect person. Don’t compromise too much though! You deserve someone who loves and treats you well! You’ll get there!


  2. nuttycow says:

    Don’t sweat the small stuff my love. It’ll happen when it happens. I had the same thoughts a year ago and now I’m steadily marching towards my 30th I’ve decided to give up and just go with the flow. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t… well, then I’ll be happy with what I’ve got.

    Keep on being fab and sooner or later someone will realise it. Don’t settle for someone just because you want *something*. Hold out for the one who treats you right and wants you as much as you want them.


  3. DiscoMcDisco says:

    Well that’s summed me up pretty sharply as well, but I don’t fret about it any more. It will be what it will be, one day it will all make sense and work out, but if it doesn’t? Well, I’ll be happy anyways cos I’m not worrying about it.

    It’s more important to be happy in yourself than feel your happiness is found in a situation or other person.


  4. Georgia I’d love to meet someone, although I am actually pretty happy on my own, I’ve been single for a while now and I’m starting to feel it. I just think I’ve got used to how things are and what a lot of blokes are like and so it would take a lot for me to sit up and take any notice!

    NC Thank you. I think your last para is my problem… I’d love to meet someone that I’m crazy about….and just keep meeting ‘ok’ and giving up on them….or that age old problem I have of guys who just want sex. I don’t want to settle so I look past everyone unless I get the butterflies.

    DMD Oh I’m so much happier than I have been with myself in years, and I’m happy just being by myself as well….but I also hope that I meet someone, I’d love to have that again.


  5. Brianna says:

    You used to tell me in my old blog a couple years back (Miss B in California) that I would meet someone and to keep my head up (thanks for that :)). At the time I was with someone who just wanted you know what…then I wised up, moved somewhere new, and I took a year to date. I was buying my car and unexpectedly liked the car salesman and then asked him out. A year and a half later we are living together.

    Of course it was and is still really hard work and not a fairy tale. Neither of us gets along perfectly because our personalities are so different in some ways (he’s Russian and I’m American). But we are growing together, he loves me and my two cats, and I am excited for what the future will look like. Being with him makes me wish I enjoyed my single days more instead of wanting someone…because now I am with someone all the time! Continue to enjoy snuggling with your kitties and being with your friends πŸ™‚


  6. misslizsarab says:

    I’m almost at that stage now where someone will do but i keep holding out for someone who will give me that tummy fizz and that sense of partnership all at once. It’s tough but not having your life now the way you expected just means you get to make an exciting new life based on who you are now

    L x


  7. scabbyknees says:

    I know how you feel with the worry you’re closing yourself off to it. I write off men as unsuitable pretty rapidly these days but like you and others have said in comments I want butterflies. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I think you’re right to hold out for someone worth waiting for, rather than settling just to have someone.


  8. Paula says:

    I hear ya!!! Be assured that you’re not alone in feeling like this.x


  9. I thought I had it all… Unfortunately I couldn’t be further from the truth…
    I have children… Had the job I dreamed of… I married somewhere I love… Seems great huh?!

    Well… I am now divorced and my children live with their mum(s) and I am working in something else I am great at doing (and actually love doing) but is not what I dreamed I’d be doing.

    And I have nooooo idea what I want…

    I think where I want to get to is… well… life is not perfect hunny… it almost never goes as planned… so enjoy the ride as much as you can… And open yourself to what comes your way… Maybe the perfect person for you is someone you would never consider… take a chance. πŸ˜‰

    What’s the worse that can happen?!!?!!?



  10. Date Girl says:

    Aww hugs. I remember feeling that way before I met Match. Have you tried looking online? I never in a million years thought I would find someone on there, but I did!
    I know that feeling about the other stuff. I’m 28 as well, and I don’t have a career I love, and I also do not yet have a baby. I know they say there is plenty of time, but honestly…I’m ready now. Just wish it would go ahead and happen already!


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