The saying goes ‘it never rains but it pours’ or something like that doesn’t it? Life is never just a one problem at a time scenario, it’s everything all at once from a great height.
I make no secret of having low self confidence and I also make no secret of the fact that the past year and a half hasn’t been easy for a few reasons. I’ve stress eaten and stress hormone-d my way to some extra body weight weight in that time and those lovely hormones (and age) are responsible for my skin looking like I’m on the wrong side of adolescence, I’m on my way to a sex change AND marching towards middle age.
Then there’s the things I do to myself, seemingly willingly. Self-sabotage. When things are going badly, I’ll make them worse and when they’re going well, I’ll look for a way to ruin it all. There has to be some psychological explanation behind it, but I have no idea why I do it.
Weight loss is going ok? Let’s eat a cake and another. Feeling bad about that skin? Let’s pick at it and make it inflamed as well. Generally on a Debbie Downer about myself? Let’s cut all that hair off and dye it a funny colour.
It was starting to feel like, at the turn of the year, things were beginning to straighten themselves out. So there we have it, I went and changed all that. Not only am I still stressed but now I’m overweight, pasty, spotty and have bad hair. Way to escalate a problem.